If you manage people, or simply want to lead with more impact, The Coaching Habit by Michael Bungay Stanier is a compact playbook for changing how you talk to your team. Instead of rushing to give advice, this bestseller shows you how to ask short, smart questions that unlock clearer thinking, faster ownership, and better results.
In this summary, we’ll unpack the seven essential coaching questions, why they work, and how to use them in everyday one-on-ones, standups, and quick hallway chats.
What makes The Coaching Habit stand out is its practicality. The techniques are simple enough to try today, yet powerful enough to reshape your culture over time. You’ll learn how to shift from “tell and solve” to “ask and empower,” cut through noise to the real challenge, and end conversations with focused commitments.
Whether you’re a new manager or a seasoned executive, these coaching moves help you develop people without adding extra meetings or extra hours to your calendar.
By the end of this summary, you’ll know the core ideas behind Stanier’s approach, the exact questions to keep in your back pocket, and easy ways to build a daily habit of curiosity. Think of this guide as your quick-start to coaching conversations that are shorter, sharper, and far more effective.
Overview
The Coaching Habit is a short, practical manual for turning everyday conversations into coaching moments that build clarity, ownership, and performance. Michael Bungay Stanier argues that most managers default to “advice-giving mode,” which feels helpful but often creates dependency, slows learning, and clutters calendars.
The remedy is a coaching style rooted in curiosity: ask a few concise questions, listen longer than feels comfortable, and help people uncover their own best next step.
The heart of the book is seven repeatable questions you can use in one-on-ones, quick Slack chats, or impromptu hallway talks. The Kickstart Question (“What’s on your mind?”) gets straight to what matters. The AWE Question (“And what else?”) pushes beyond the first, superficial answer.
The Focus Question (“What’s the real challenge here for you?”) narrows conversations to the crux of the issue, while the Foundation Question (“What do you want?”) surfaces needs and expectations that are usually left unspoken. The Lazy Question (“How can I help?”) prevents you from jumping in blindly and clarifies the request; the Strategic Question (“If you’re saying yes to this, what must you say no to?”) protects priorities and time.
Finally, the Learning Question (“What was most useful for you?”) cements insight and builds a habit of reflection.
Beyond the questions, Stanier shows how to make coaching a daily behavior, not just a special event. He explains how to tame the “Advice Monster,” use tiny habit design to wire new cues and responses, and end meetings with clear commitments.
Tools like the “three P’s” lens, Projects, People, and Patterns, help you diagnose whether you’re dealing with tasks, relationships, or recurring behaviors, so you can coach the right layer of the problem.
Ultimately, the book positions coaching as a faster path to better work, not an extra meeting on the calendar. With a handful of prompts and a posture of curiosity, managers can shift from fixing problems themselves to developing people who solve the right problems on their own, creating a compounding effect on engagement, speed, and results.
Key Takeaways From “The Coaching Habit”
Curiosity Beats Advice
Managers default to giving answers, but coaching works better when you stay curious longer. By asking instead of telling, you help people think for themselves, build ownership, and find solutions that stick.
Curiosity also shortens meetings by cutting straight to what matters instead of circling assumptions.
Start Fast with the Kickstart Question
“What’s on your mind?” is the simplest way to open a focused conversation. It signals trust, surfaces the most pressing issue without small talk, and sets a collaborative tone.
Use it in one-on-ones, Slack messages, or quick hallway chats to get to the substance in seconds.
Go Deeper with “And What Else?”
The first answer is rarely the full answer. “And what else?” invites reflection, reveals hidden angles, and slows the impulse to jump into advice.
Ask it two or three times; you’ll uncover options, constraints, and emotions that change the path forward.
Find the Crux with the Focus Question
“What’s the real challenge here for you?” moves the discussion from symptoms to the core problem.
It personalizes the issue, away from vague “they” or “it”, so the coachee names what’s truly blocking progress. Once the real challenge is visible, the next steps become obvious.
Surface Needs with the Foundation Question
“What do you want?” clarifies expectations that usually stay unspoken. When people name what they actually need, such as support, clarity, feedback, or resources, you avoid rework and resentment. It also builds accountability: if wants are clear, commitments can be, too.
Don’t Assume; Ask the Lazy Question
“How can I help?” prevents you from rescuing or overcommitting. Instead of guessing, you learn the exact help that’s useful, such as advice, a sounding board, an introduction, or simply permission to proceed. You save time and give support that actually lands.
Protect Priorities with the Strategic Question
“If you’re saying yes to this, what must you say no to?” keeps scope creep in check. It forces trade-offs, aligns work with strategy, and respects capacity. Saying “no” to the right things is how teams create focus, speed, and quality.
Cement Learning with the Final Question
“What was most useful for you?” closes the loop. It promotes reflection, reinforces insight, and makes the conversation feel valuable. Over time, this builds a culture where people expect to learn and come prepared to do so.
Coach the Right Layer with the 3 Ps
Use Projects, People, and Patterns to locate the real issue. Is it a task problem (Project), a relationship dynamic (People), or a recurring behavior (Pattern)? Coaching the right layer prevents you from treating symptoms and helps solutions endure.
Tame the “Advice Monster” with Tiny Habits
Your instinct to jump in is strong; acknowledge it and shrink it. Pair triggers (a question in a 1:1) with small replacement behaviors (count three breaths, then ask one coaching question). Consistency beats intensity; a few good questions, asked daily, rewire your leadership style.
About the Author
Michael Bungay Stanier (often referred to as “MBS”) is an Australia-born, Toronto-based author, speaker, and founder of Box of Crayons, a training company recognized for helping organizations cultivate curiosity-led, coaching cultures.
A Rhodes Scholar at Oxford, he combines academic rigor with practical, real-world tools that leaders can apply immediately. Beyond The Coaching Habit, his bestselling books include The Advice Trap, How to Begin, and How to Work with (Almost) Anyone.
Through keynotes, podcasts, and hands-on workshops, MBS champions an impactful yet straightforward idea: ask better questions, and you’ll unlock better thinking, more substantial ownership, and consistently better results.
Final Thoughts
The Coaching Habit is a reminder that better leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about asking better questions. When you stay curious a little longer, you help people name the real challenge, commit to a next step, and learn from the work.
Start small: pick one question (try “What’s the real challenge here for you?”) and use it in every conversation for a week. You’ll see faster clarity, stronger ownership, and fewer “drive-by” meetings.
If you’re ready to build a coaching-first culture with leaders who develop people while delivering results, South can help you scale the team to match. We connect U.S. companies with vetted, time-zone-aligned talent from Latin America across roles like operations, marketing, finance, and engineering.
Want managers and contributors who already think in questions, not just answers? Talk to us today to find the right remote hires and level up your team’s performance!
