Imagine this: you’re racing from a back‑to‑back Zoom to a Slack fire drill when a direct report ambushes you with, “Got a minute?” Your instincts reach for the nearest solution to hurl at the problem, but that’s the “Advice Monster” Michael Bungay Stanier warns about in The Coaching Habit.
Instead of playing hero, Stanier invites leaders to transform everyday chats into micro‑coaching moments powered by seven deceptively simple questions. His thesis is disarmingly bold: with ten minutes of focused curiosity, you can spark deeper thinking, cement ownership, and reclaim precious brain‑space for strategy rather than firefighting.
Stanier’s voice lands somewhere between stand‑up comic and trusted mentor, sprinkling behavioral science, storytelling, and easy habit hacks into every page. He argues that coaching isn’t a mystical art reserved for HR retreats; it’s a skill you weave into hallway hellos, sprint retros, and even coffee runs.
By mastering the “Kick‑Start,” “AWE,” and “Lazy” questions (among others), managers learn to talk less, ask more, and multiply their team’s potential. The payoff? A culture where problems get solved at the source, innovation bubbles upward, and you finally escape the grind of being everyone’s emergency hotline.
Overview
At its core, The Coaching Habit reframes leadership as a series of quick, curiosity‑driven exchanges rather than marathon feedback sessions.
Michael Bungay Stanier argues that most managers are trapped in an “I‑know‑best” loop that breeds dependence and drains their time. To break that cycle, he introduces seven hinge questions designed to pull richer thinking from team members in under ten minutes.
The book opens with the Kick‑Start Question: “What’s on your mind?”, a conversational shortcut that slashes small talk and surfaces the real issue instantly. Instead of reacting with instant advice, the manager then layers on the AWE Question “And what else?”, which Stanier calls the magic probe for unlocking deeper insights that rarely appear in a first answer.
As the dialogue narrows, the Focus Question “What’s the real challenge here for you?” forces the coachee (and the coach) to identify the true bottleneck, filtering out background noise and assumptions.
With clarity established, Stanier shifts to forward momentum through the Foundation Question “What do you want?”, helping people articulate outcomes rather than rattle off complaints. The book’s playful twist comes via the Lazy Question “How can I help?”, a reminder that even well‑meaning leaders can’t read minds; explicit asks prevent wasted effort and misplaced solutions.
Decision‑making rigor arrives with the Strategic Question “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”, which spotlights trade‑offs and protects teams from accidental overcommitment.
Every conversation then lands on the Learning Question “What was most useful for you?”, a built‑in debrief that reinforces insights and gives the coach real‑time feedback on their impact.
Stanier laces these questions with neuroscience nuggets like the dopamine hit of self‑generated ideas, and tiny habit‑building hacks, urging readers to pair a chosen question with daily triggers (end of a stand‑up, post‑email ping, coffee refill) until it’s a reflex.
The result is a conversational operating system that fits inside a coffee break yet compounds into a culture where problems are solved at the source, leaders reclaim strategic bandwidth, and teams grow more resourceful with every curious pause.
Key Takeaways From “The Coaching Habit”
1. Tame the Advice Monster
Every leader has a reflex to dispense solutions the moment a problem surfaces. Stanier calls this instinct the Advice Monster, and he urges managers to keep it on a short leash.
By holding back answers for just 90 seconds and asking a question instead, you create space for the other person to think, learn, and own the result. Over time, team members stop queueing up outside your office for quick fixes and start tackling challenges independently.
2. Lead With Curiosity, Not Control
The seven questions, especially “What’s on your mind?” and “And what else?”, shift the power dynamic from directive to exploratory.
Curiosity invites richer context, hidden constraints, and surprising ideas that top‑down orders rarely uncover. Leaders gain a fuller picture of the landscape, while employees feel heard and energized to act on their own insights.
3. Focus on the Real Challenge
Problems often arrive wrapped in noise: politics, emotion, or half‑formed assumptions. The Focus Question, “What’s the real challenge here for you?”, cuts through the chatter and targets the bottleneck that truly needs attention.
This precision prevents teams from spinning cycles on peripheral issues and channels energy toward solutions that move the needle.
4. Clarify Desired Outcomes Early
Asking “What do you want?” may feel blunt, but it crystallizes intent. When people name their end‑state, increased visibility, a clear decision,and better collaboration, the path forward sharpens. Projects hit fewer dead ends because everyone is steering toward a shared and explicit goal.
5. Ask, Don’t Guess, for Help Requests
The Lazy Question, “How can I help?”, sounds almost too simple, yet it saves countless hours of misaligned effort. Instead of assuming what support looks like, you let the coachee define it.
Sometimes they need a sounding board; other times it’s resources or a simple green light. Precision in assistance keeps you out of the weeds and empowers others to own the plan.
6. Make Trade‑Offs Visible
Ambition without limits leads to overloaded calendars and diluted focus. The Strategic Question, “If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?”, forces explicit prioritization.
Calling out the sacrifice turns vague optimism into realistic commitments and guards against hidden burnout.
7. Lock in Learning With Reflection
Ending every conversation with “What was most useful for you?” transforms a nice chat into a repeatable learning loop. The question compels the coachee to articulate their own takeaway, embedding it more deeply, while giving you instant feedback on the coaching’s impact.
Over time, both sides refine their approach, making each future exchange sharper and more valuable.
8. Ten Minutes Can Change a Culture
Stanier debunks the myth that coaching requires long, formal sessions. When the seven questions become habitual, tacked onto a daily stand‑up, slipped into a hallway chat, or used to wrap a project debrief, coaching evolves from an event into a way of working.
The cumulative effect is a team that solves problems at the source, freeing leadership bandwidth for strategic, not tactical, work.
About the Author
Michael Bungay Stanier, often called MBS, grew up in Canberra, Australia, before winning a Rhodes Scholarship to Oxford, where he studied literature and developed an enduring fascination with how stories shape behavior.
After stints in consulting and the nonprofit world, he founded Box of Crayons, a Toronto‑based training company that helps organizations shift from advice‑driven cultures to ones powered by curiosity.
His playful style and laser‑sharp questions have attracted clients ranging from Microsoft and Salesforce to fast‑growing start‑ups, all looking to spark more ownership and innovation inside their teams.
In addition to The Coaching Habit, which has sold well over a million copies and become a modern leadership staple, Stanier has written Do More Great Work, The Advice Trap, and How to Begin, each weaving practical tools with storytelling flair.
A sought‑after keynote speaker, he’s delivered TEDx talks viewed by millions and frequently appears on podcasts to champion the power of staying curious a little longer.
Outside the spotlight, MBS is an avid reader, a self‑professed lacrosse tragic, and a believer that the smallest coaching moments can unlock the greatest human potential.
Final Thoughts
When leaders swap knee‑jerk advice for genuine curiosity, teams stop lining up for quick fixes and start solving problems at the source. The Coaching Habit reminds us that a handful of well‑placed questions, like What’s on your mind? … And what else? … What was most useful?, can turn everyday chats into sparks of ownership, creativity, and momentum.
It’s the kind of cultural shift that makes remote collaboration hum: people know why they’re doing the work, feel trusted to make smart calls, and learn from every interaction.
That’s exactly the environment we cultivate at South. We connect U.S. companies with pre‑vetted Latin‑American professionals who thrive on autonomy and continuous learning, the same qualities The Coaching Habit amplifies.
While you focus on asking the right questions and steering the mission, our talent comes ready to run with the answers.
Curious how a coaching‑driven culture pairs with a near‑shore, same‑time‑zone team? Schedule a free call with us to see how quickly you can add resourceful developers, marketers, and ops pros who already speak the language of curiosity and accountability.
Give your Advice Monster a rest, and let a high‑performing, self‑directed squad help you do more great work!
